Bean's scans
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beans_journal
Bean :DBean again :pMore of BeanAnd again beanand again beanBean when a Bean :p20 weeks20 weeks info

Saturday the exam day!
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beans_journal
 Hello my love I'm sorry that I am late waking up. I've just read your text :( You feel alone *sigh* You are never alone Merlinda at least not in spirit. My thoughts and my love are always with you! I'm getting ready for the exam I need to get clean clothes ready I stupidly forgot to wash any yesterday. Oh I just remembered that I take them all off for the exam anyway :P It doesn't really matter. I hope my colon is clean and that there isn't anything still left in it. I didn't read the thing right and the preparation I've been naughty and eaten some things I shouldn't on the list so I'm worried that they find a veggie Burger still on it's way out lodged there :p Anywho I need to run about now getting ready I'll call you again in a bit. LOVES YOU!!!!! I hope you and Bean have a spontifity day :D x

Essay!
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 Okay I've written the essay but now I need my bed :p I'm super sleepy now. Loves you Merlinda I hope you enjoy reading it! I'm off to bed LOVES YOU!!!!!!!

I want biscuits!
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beans_journal
 I want biscuits! I've been watching my mum eat ginger nut biscuits *sobs* I want then sooooo bad! Sorry back to the writing :p www.youtube.com/watch

Friday night. The detox is almost over!
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I've taken my second dose of the  medicine I'm just waiting for the need to rush to the toilet :P I need to sit and write out the essay :-/ I'll do it now. I feel a bit dizzy I think it's the medicine. I need to start drawing more often. I should start my own sketch pad and just draw random stuff. I wonder if I will be able to submit more entries to the newspaper. I'll start writing for baby magazines :D I was thinking I will write ones that you can adapt to suit curtain articles and you can submit them using your aunts address or your uncles :p But then you will be writing killer articles and mine might not get the letter of the month. It's a nice feeling to get published :D I've never been published before. It makes me think that my writing is kind of okay If they are willing to publish it then it must have some merit. Oh I've written a lot already :P Sorry I'm just typing out thoughts as they flit through my head. The old grey cells are whizzing about a lot tonight :D I'll stop now and move on to the essay. Loves you wifey Pooh! Loves you Bean! Oh I just remembered I got Beans book today! I'll start recording chapters for you! I'll maybe e-mail one tonight depending how the essay writing goes :) LOVES YOU!!!!!!! www.youtube.com/watch

Friday morning/ Early afternoon. The dreaded colon purge! :p
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 I'm flushing my system :p It's been a morning filled with runs to the toilet! I'm on the phone to you right now chatting about James and about all sorts of things.......  Okay I just got off the phone wishing you good night :D I'm going to go and have some water then I will go and rest as ordered :P Oh before I forget here is an artist I stumbled across while looking for masks for your allergies.  I love some of his work :D www.adambindereditions.com/pieces.htm I'll rest now but I'll be back in an hour or so to write more and to finish off the essay :) Loves you my cutie!!!!!!!

Thursday night continued
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beans_journal
 Tonight has been okay I was telling James about the room he will be staying in :p He's a bit nervous now, he wants me to ask you if Bagel can stay with him or any woman just so he isn't on his own. I'm a little sleepy now. I want to put some music on but I know that would only make me sleep, especially if I put Groove Armada on , that always makes me lethargic! I'll try and finish the essay tonight.... I will go for a quick lie down first.... I should be back I will make an effort to stay focused and awake. Loves you my cutie! Loves you Bean! I hope you are both sleeping soundly while I type this... Oh actually thinking about it you might be getting up by now... Your sister will be moving about fighting with the dog for her towel or clothes :p

Thursday night
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 It's kayak club night and I'm waiting for James to turn up. I'm looking forward to talking to him about the upcoming birth and just to listen to what's on his mind. Today went okay at work too but it was manic and I'm feeling tired now. I'll leave another entry when I get back tonight but I don't know what time that will be, probably around 10pm. I have a list of airlines from my work colleague :D He is an air plane enthusiast so he knows a lot about the airlines as he is always off flying places with his friends. I'll call them up at the weekend or look at the websites tomorrow after work to try and find a good airline with reasonably priced flexible tickets. I'll talk to James about him coming to Manila with me tonight too :D I'm sure he will be excited when I tell him that your okay with him tagging along. Loves you merlinda I'll be back later to write more and hopefully to finally finish the essay and get it e-mailed to you *blush* LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday sat at home chilling after work
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 It's Wednesday and today at work went much better. I'm sat here thinking of things to write for the essay and just thinking about things in general. I feel calmer now after speaking to the doctor about the weekend. I was a bit worried about the drug they were going to use. I will sit and write in a bit. I need to exercise I will do 50 sit ups tonight :D Or maybe I shouldn't until after the exam :-/ 

Tuesday afternoon
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Today it's been manic at work. I've been stuck answering the phones all day giving advice to people about things I don't fully understand. It's an okay job and I think I'm doing well but sometimes I still feel lost. I feel like I'm drowning without a clue how to reach the surface. But other times I feel like I'm sailing through the waters with the sails full and no worries in sight so it depends on the call. I hope that over the next few months I gain in confidence and feel like I am giving people sound advice. Some people go away feeling as if they have been helped but others feel pissed off I can tell *sigh* Bean and Merlinda are always in my thoughts. They give me the strength to see everyday through and I will continue to hopefully grow into the job so I can provide for both of them. Next month there will be a bank holiday so I will have a long weekend to do stuff :D. I wonder what James is going to do as Misty will be giving birth over the next few days I think her due date is the 15th he needs to make up his mind soon. I haven't heard from him in the last couple of days. I think he is preoccupied with everything on his plate. He wants to start a new life with Misty but at the same time he is scared that it will cost him his freedom and James ultimately desires to be free more then anything else. He is the embodiment of Peter pan, he never wants to grow up which isn't a bad thing but it means that responsibility is not something he desires to take on if he sees it as a thing that will inhibit his ability to have fun. I need to rest now and go back to writing the essay in a bit. Loves you Merlinda! Loves you Bean! This is the first journal entry of many. I will try to write one every night when I get home from work. LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!

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